Why Fuck Will Always Be My Favorite Word

I know, most mom emails don’t start with the F word, but this one does because we all need a way to release and the F word is my go-to, quick and dirty way to let go.

To be clear, I really try not to drop F bombs in front of my kids. But listen, I’m not perfect and they have definitely heard the word before. (Really, I try.) 

Motherhood is monotonous. There’s not really a great way to work around that. We have our routines, we do the same things every day. Kids wake up, we all need to eat, baths happen, bedtime stories … day in and day out. 

And in order to be the present, caring mom I want to be, I have to be regulated each day as we do the same damn thing. I can’t expect my toddlers to regulate themselves, I have to regulate myself and be there for their own regulation. They don’t have a plan or keep a schedule- I have to be in control of not only my own shit, but the whole family’s so we don’t completely fall apart. 

All that holding-it-together requires a lot of control. As moms, we put a lot of thought, preparation, and processing into our day to day. We’re working on ourselves to create a safe environment for our kids to be little psychopaths who are learning to regulate and control from what we demonstrate. 

Fuck. That’s a lot. 

And that’s why the little four letter word is my BFF. It so beautifully encompasses my daily feelings as a mom, overwhelmed and taking moments to regulate, wondering when my tiny humans will let me wipe my butt in peace, and questioning my sanity as I wipe their butts over and over. 

When you see fuck written, or hear the word, you feel it. All the shit I don’t want to be doing, all the control I’m fighting to maintain, all the uuuugghhhh no amount of coffee can fix. 

I need that release. To let go for just a quick moment, say something that represents all the deep feelings I’m having, and allow myself to be healthily dysregulated before continuing on with our routine. 

You don’t have to say fuck to feel better, but this is your big fat permission slip to go for it. 

And maybe it’s not a curse word for you— whatever your quick release is, I’ve found a little something to not have to control day to day is a game changer when it feels like bedtime may never come.