How TTC Ruined My Sex Life

When I tell you trying to have kids ruined my sex life, I cannot overemphasize how true that is. 

We had a pretty healthy sex life up until we started trying to have kids. Then the pressure of having to schedule it took quite a bit of wind out of our sails. 

And then, having miscarriages put us on two separate paths. 

I felt like we had to have sex every time I was ovulating no matter what. I wanted to take every chance possible to make a baby because I was so afraid it wasn’t going to work or that there would be more miscarriages before a successful pregnancy. So we needed all the shots we could take. 

And for my husband, all he could think about was disappointment and debt. After the second miscarriage, he told me that sex made him think about losing the baby, me being distraught, and a giant medical bill for whatever procedure was required. So what used to be fun, fancy free sexy time was now all sadness and stress. 

It was a rough year and a half of us trying to have kids. 

I wish I could tell you I had some solution and we figured it out. But honestly, we didn’t. 

We kept having sex because we had to in order to have kids like we wanted. 

It just sucked the entire time we were trying to get pregnant. We felt lonely. It was bad sex. And there wasn’t a way around that. 

So if you’re in the thick of it trying to have kids or seeing your sex life turn into a chore, you’re not alone.