Mother’s Day Reflection

Three days before Mother’s Day in 2019, I lost my first baby. 

It was our first pregnancy and I had been envisioning what life would be like as first time parents. I was picturing maternity leave over the holidays and all the mommy and me moments to come with my baby girl (I had a gut feeling it was a girl). 

Becoming a mom felt ripped out from under me and that Mother’s Day five years ago there was nothing to celebrate. All the Mother’s Day advertisements felt shoved down my throat- it was like I couldn’t escape all the images of happy moms. 

I told my mom and mother in law that I wasn’t celebrating. I asked them not to mention the day to me and to know that I wouldn’t be telling them to have a happy Mother’s Day or expressing any gratitude that day. It was just too much. 

Mother’s Day has a different meaning for everyone. And that meaning can change from year to year in drastic ways. 

This year, only five years since that first Mother’s Day, I woke up to my little girls singing Happy Mother’s Day to the tune of Happy Birthday, complete with flowers, presents, and balloons. My family celebrated me as their mom and it was a sweet day. 

For some, it’s a day on the calendar they’d rather ignore. For others, it’s a special day to celebrate (and often leads to a busy Monday catching up from skipped Sunday duties). 

Whatever your Mother’s Day looked like this year, know that I am holding you close in my heart. I’ve been a broken mom, ignoring the day and wishing it didn’t exist. And I’ve been the mom getting breakfast in bed and snuggling little people. Holidays like this can bring a lot of feelings and allowing those feelings to just be is often the best way through. 

Sitting in it with you,

Kelly