Asking For Help with Postpartum Depression
After I had my second daughter, I had postpartum depression which popped up as extreme overwhelm. I needed a lot of support and validation— quite literally I needed people in my house with me to feel like “okay, I can do this.”
If you've had a baby, friend, you know it's hard to anticipate what you'll need. And this need to just have people there was unexpected for me.
Thankfully, I had expressed to my community the possibilities and asked for their flexibility in supporting me. So when I asked my mom or mother-in-law to just come over (without any particular requests), they were prepared to be there for me.
I remember for weeks feeling so overwhelmed by the idea of how to get both of my kids downstairs in the morning. If we wake up at 7am (at the latest) and I need to breastfeed, pump, clean my pump parts, dress the kids, carry the milk and two babies down the stairs … How in the world could I do all that without taking 27 trips up and down the stairs?!
It felt like an unsolvable puzzle. So, I would have my mom come over just for wake up. She'd come around 8am and we would wait upstairs until she got there to help.
When I was alone, I was overwhelmed by the possibilities of what could go wrong. What if I drop the breast milk and have a big mess? What if my kids are screaming? With a premature newborn and an 18 month old the overwhelm of what could go wrong felt suffocating.
Just having somebody else there was a permission slip to try different ways to get downstairs and the extra set of hands gave me space to figure it out. It was exactly what I needed.
So wherever you find yourself today, this is your permission slip to ask for help. Let your community know if you need dinner made, dishes put away, the kids entertained, or just someone to be there with you.
And though I can't be there to chat while your baby naps on you or fold some laundry, I am here rooting for you. If you have any questions or need further support, please reach out.
I’m here for you.
With love,
Kelly
